Challenges and Breakthroughs

It's been a week of challenges and breakthroughs. I've been working hard to try and achieve my brief - to organize activities for the children in the unit I have been working in, while here in Suubi. The girls in the other units have had some really good results. I think this is partly because there was more scope for improvement in their rooms. The children are older and were acting up more. The nannies seem to have realized that splitting the children into smaller groups and giving them something constructive to do, makes their lives a little more bearable. They have, therefore, been more receptive to the ideas of the volunteers. Not so in my unit. The babies unit is a different kettle of fish, admittedly, because of the relative mobility and development of the children. The nannies tend to spend the majority of their day camped in the centre of the room amid a writhing sea of babies. I guess they enjoy the social aspect of this grouping and it is possibly easier not to have to move around with 5 babies in tow. It has, therefore, been more difficult to convince these nannies that their babies would benefit from different learning experiences in varying locations.

Another challenge I have faced is working collaboratively with the unit head in the room. I have had to try and 'encourage' her to support my initiatives, without threatening her tight hold on the leadership of that room. I have struggled with a lot of her priorities and decisions for the children and nannies. I've had to quietly challenge incidences of blatant favoritism and hypocrisy, without stirring up wrath. This has proved at times to be very frustrating and discouraging. In terms of self-confidence, I have always been easily toppled, so it has been hard sometimes to find the will to face a new day in the unit, in the wake of the previous day's defeats. I have constantly had to remind myself that the battle is not mine to win, I'm just required to keep showing up and being of service.

Having said that, I feel some minor victories have been won this week. My approach in the unit has been to try and be as humble, helpful and supportive as possible. Some of the nannies have been ill during the week, so I have tried to help them more with their babies and provide the odd painkiller, or word of encouragement. With the unit head I have basically bowed and scraped and attended to the lowly tasks, spending long hours at the kitchen sink doing dishes, folding washing, cleaning floors, changing soiled nappies etc. During this time I have tried to act on opportunities for introducing activities, by asking her "would you like me to get some... or... for the children to play with? Would you like that inside, or on the grass outside? Can I polish your shoes for you at the same time?" And so on...

After a particularly difficult afternoon of resistance from the unit head and the nannies, I was invited the following morning to join one of their impromptu team meeting/pep talks. I was amazed to hear the unit head using all of the words I had been saying to her over the previous weeks, grilling the nannies about splitting into smaller groups in different areas, spending one on one time with their babies, engaging in different activities to help their development, talking with their babies etc. She then had an interactive session where she asked all of the nannies what their best and worst experiences were with Watoto, what they appreciated about their colleagues and work and what they would like to change. I was also invited to share my responses to these questions.

During this time of sharing, I was complimented on my commitment to the unit, my hard work, my loving approach to the babies and also for the way I introduced activities and helped out without telling everyone what to do. ??? Well blow me down with a feather! I'd never have guessed it. Did I mention my discovery that the word Suubi means 'hope'?... I was able to then turn around to every woman in that room and compliment and thank them individually for their unique strengths and abilities - providing very specific, positive feedback to each of the nannies. I also told the unit head that I thought she was a strong leader and that I could see God was at the forefront of everything she did. I really choked on those words and struggled to get them out, given my experiences and feelings towards her..but I managed to convey these thoughts sincerely and with a positive focus. I could see that all of them were very surprised by my words, surprised that I had noticed their efforts and talents individually.

From that moment on, my relationships with everyone in the unit have taken on a new life. I feel that the unit head and I have silently acknowledged each other's authority and implicitly agreed on a way of working more together. I am still acquiescent, but she is a whole lot more welcoming of my input and now asks me to provide the activities etc. As long as she is the one making the decisions, she is happy to make them, taking my ideas into account. Phew! Thank God for that! It's just a shame that it's taken so long to reach this point. I only have 2 more weeks here in Suubi. That very day of breakthrough, I received word that my posting for the final month of my stay will be in Gulu - a large town situated in the north of Uganda, about 7 hours drive from here.

It is now malaria season proper and Gulu is apparently hotter and more primitive; a rural, village setting with mud huts, thatched rooves and frequent and enduring power outages. Having said that, all of the volunteers I have spoken with are agreed that Gulu has been their favorite Watoto home. I'm pleased to be able to work in Gulu and see more of Uganda, before I head briefly to Kenya and then fly home. Time is flying past. By the time I leave Suubi, I'll be at the half way point in my journey. Progress has been made, however slow in coming, but there is so much more work to be done...enough for a lifetime, I think.